Stress F*cks You Up…

I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately.  Way more stress than any one person should be under.  95% of it is from work…the other 5% is a mix of home, pregnancy, hating winter…the normal stuff we all stress about.

Stress has gifted me with these lovely side effects….

1.  Insomnia:  This is a wonderful byproduct of not being able to work out the things that run through your mind constantly.  I lay down at night, and I get in this endless loop of what I am going to say, or should have said to my manager at work.  Rather than getting pissed off, giving up and walking out, I should have stood my ground, called him on his lack of management and his continued violation of our collective agreement.  I should have continued with my day, HIGHLIGHTED the continued violations and filed grievances and gone after him with the right people on my side.  Instead, hormones racing through my system, I lost my cool and left.  Bad choice.

2.  Lack of appetite:  which, normally, any woman would say…awesome…but when you’re pregnant, not so awesome.  You need to eat to nourish the  baby, so not wanting to eat is not a good thing….nor is weight loss.  I’m trying to eat more, but it’s still tough when you really don’t want to.  Thank God for Cheerio’s and Oatmeal.

3.  Pounding heart and racing pulse:  Getting your heart rate up should be a good thing..right?  Not when you are overwhelmed with anxiety.  It makes your palms sweaty and makes you unable to function properly.  As much as I would love to believe this “cardiac” workout is good for me…I know it’s not.

4.  Lack of intimacy with Big Red: because I am so stressed, the last thing on my mind is sex, or anything remotely sexual.  I am sure this confession is shocking considering I am always bitching about how Red doesn’t put out…*sigh…I seem to be the one who is saying no.  I’m working on it and I hope that I can get back to where I was.

I’m in therapy trying to lower my anxiety, and so far, it’s helping a lot.  My therapist is wonderful and she has given me some great ideas and skills.

I’ll keep you posted…and hopefully, get back to bitching about the lack of sex in my life.

Momma

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Scott
    Jan 30, 2011 @ 19:12:53

    Square breathing works well for the heart pounding moments. Breath in counting to 4. Hold for 4. Breath out for counting to 4. Hold for 4 and repeat.

    Sleep is critical. NPR with earbuds with a sleep aid works for me but everyone is different.

    For the boss… be curious not furious. “You seem like you’re in a bad mood. Are you doing OK?”

    If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle. – someone

    Best wishes

    Reply

  2. roo
    Jan 31, 2011 @ 07:31:11

    Sending hugs your way…I deal with the insomnia, stress, panic attacks but am not pregnant so I can’t imagine how hard it is when you add that on top of it. So therapy is really helping your anxiety? I’ve thought about going that route but haven’t really pursued it yet…

    Reply

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